Late Night Writing...

So I was just laying on my bed, and because my laptop doesn't work without a cable for the internet, the only thing I could do was open Microsoft Word and write.. these are my random thoughts and ideas... and a mini vignette as I'm calling it. I hope you enjoy. You know I love comments!

AND PLEASE FORGIVE ANY TYPOS!

LOVE

L is lust

L is looks

L is the lasting feelings I have for you.

O is outside, where I think of you the most

O is only you…the one I think of the most.

V is vivacious

V is vida, what I’d give to meet you.

E is your eyes

E is the evenings I would love to spend with you

E is every breath I take, every breath you take away from me

E is everything.

MICHAEL

M is mine… you’ll never really be mine, but you are in my eyes.

I is indifferent. I don’t care what goes on around me when I think of you.

C is calm. Your calmness the state you put me in.

H is having you. What I would do to hold you.

A is amazing. That’s what you are.

E is every little thing I see you do, that makes me fall all over again.

L is the love and lust I feel for you.

I see you.  I bump into you. I didn’t mean it. I said I’m sorry. You say its no problem. I get lost in your eyes. It electricity that I feel when you look at me. I know you feel the same thing. You help me up from my place on the floor. I feel a shock when your skin brazes mine. I get up, trying not to depend on you too much. I cant do that… ill probably never see you again. I smile and thanks you…I wish I could do more… I wish I could kiss you. I don’t even think of an autograph I just think of your touch. Something more memorable than a signature, an intense feeling that burned my skin, and a hole right to my heart. I want to see you again. I do. At a park. I want to say hello, but I’m scared. You say hello instead. You ask me to sit. And talk. I comply. I sit. I listen to you talk. I could do it all day. It gets late. Very late. I don’t want to go home. I don’t need to go home. My parents trust me. You ask me if I need a ride, then when I say I walked…you offer to walk me back. I say sure. We walk, I trip a couple of times. I’m nervous. You hold me for support while I stop tripping, you hold my hand. Eventually, you don’t let go. Were walking home, holding hands. It’s a miracle you could say. I stopped being nervous. I stopped caring. I just focused on your touch. I reach my house. I tell you so. A pretty house. A house alone. My parents are out, you notice the car gone. You don’t say anything. You think my thoughts. I ask you inside. I’m thirsty, I go to the kitchen to get water. You’re in the living room looking at my old family photos. Me as a kid. You smile. That smile….that beautiful smile that can turn me into a pile of mush. I could die. I shakily offer you a glass of water. Thank you. You thank me in the kindest most sincere way I could ever dream of hearing. Just for a glass of water. Im head over heels. I’m scared. Are you? I don’t know. Probably not. But you’re here. That counts for something. Right? Right… I hope so. I sit on the couch. I cant stay still. You notice it. Are you okay? You sound concerned. I feel your love. I smile and nod. Of course I am. You’re here. Of course. You say you probably should go. Its getting late. You have work. I nod. Of course. You’re a busy man. You’re a successful man. Why are you wasting time with me? You don’t love me. You cant love me. Do you love me? If only I knew… I open the door. I’m scared. You’re leaving. What if I don’t see you again. You smile. You send me to the moon and back with that smile. A genuine thanks is uttered from your lips. I feel butterflies… real fluttering beautiful butterflies. I don’t want it to end. A kiss. A kiss? A kiss. That’s what you left me with. A tender, sweet, achingly slow, long kiss. I sigh. Was I imagining it? Probably. Its happened countless times. But, you’re still here. You’re looking at me in a way I’ve never seen before. Maybe I’m imagining it. But you’re still here. I didn’t realize your arms were around me, or that I had moved so close to you. How did that happen. I don’t remember. When I realize it I step back. Frightened? No. Surprised? No. Then what. I’m amazed. Amazed at what had just happened. Amazed that it could happen. Amazed that you’re still here, looking at me. Loving me.

5.30.12

Sick Day

Hey guys, I'm back.

I feel like I've said that line so many times in this blog... I shouldn't have to... but I guess it's just so much easier to blog during vacations, when I don't really have to worry about anything...

Anyways...
I hope you all are doing well.

I should be at school today, but I'm home sick instead. I literally couldn't sleep until two in the morning and then woke up at three hours later... there was no way I was going to be able to function on three hours of sleep at school, so I stayed home. (With my mothers permission of course!)

I really haven't been doing anything...I did take a nap and then I ate breakfast and watched Michael Jackson videos...and then came over to my room to blog.

So I was gone for two weeks because I was out of the country in Mexico visiting my family. It was really fun...REALLY fun. I got to be with all of my cousins and practice my Spanish before the AP test next month.. *bites nails* I'm scared!

Apart from getting sick, nothing really spectacular has gone on in my life... NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING. It's strange, these past couple of weeks I've come to realize that I'm perfectly content with my life right now. Apart from worrying about some family members that are sick at the moment... I'm just fine and dandy.  It's a good feeling.

So if you haven't heard, The Jacksons are going on tour this summer. One of the stops will be here in LA. I may go. *does a little HUGE excited dance* My mother said that if I raise the grade I have in math class by the end of the year, I can go. *DOES A BIGGER HUGE EXCITED DANCE* Because you know, I've never been to a concert before, and to get to go to a JACKSONS concert as my first one! GO-LLY! Can you tell I'm excited? XD

Yesterday I spent the whole afternoon/night with my parents... We watched the Michael Jackson Home Movies and I don't think I have laughed that hard in a while. They enjoyed it...and you know, it was great for me to see my parents, especially my dad, kinda like, accepting the fact that I love yet another man as much as I do and being totally okay with it because they got to see how... just great this man was. I don't know... I'm kinda horrible at explaining things sometimes.. I guess this is one of those times... sorry!

Dallas (2012) starts next month! I'm excited... So I guess you'll be hearing more about that soon!

For now, I'll go and rest up.

With the love guys, L.O.V.E. Love. *spelled out in the air like Michael would do it*
-Briggitte

Stars That Will Never Fade

Why I Chose This Picture: Because I know that this was her
favorite episode because she got to work with her
cousin and on location, not in a studio.

Name: Barbara Eden

Real Name: Barbara Jean Morehead

Occupation: Actress, Singer

DOB: August 23rd, 1934

Fun Fact: She owns a chocolate labradoodle names Djinn 

Djinn (after Jeannie's dog on I Dream of Jeannie)

Quote: If gentlemen prefer blondes, than I am a 

blonde that prefers gentlemen.

Academy Awards: No Oscars for this incredible talent, but 

was nominated twice for the Golden Globe of Best TV

Actress and Best TV Star in the year 1965 for her role as Jeannie

on I Dream of Jeannie

Two Poems...

So i feel like i think i like writing poetry now. Not as much as i like writing stories, but poetry provides that instant satisfaction, whereas a story takes much longer, but feels so good when im done with one.

Anyways, i had CAHSEE testing two days last week. The CAHSEE is the CAlifornia High School Exit Exam... it was SUPER EASY and i had a lot of time on my hands.... so i decided to write.... so here were two poems i came up with.

I Want You to Know
writte by Briggitte on 3.14.12


Your smile,
brightens up my day,
when I see you.
Everyday.

Your eyes,
Not brown nor blue,
their own special color.
Beautiful,
stunning,
dreamy color.
One's I'd love to get lost in,
if you'd let me.
When they flick across the room,
and meet mine,
I get butterflies,
I can't help but smile,
until you or I look away.

I like watching you,
when you talk,
when you walk.
Your cute little mannerisms.

Your sweet voice,
when you talk,
when you read,
when you laugh.

I think about you.
You will never know.

I care about you.
You will never know.

I want you to know.
...........

I Don't Know
written by Briggitte on 3.14.12


When you smile,
I can't help but smile with you.
I'm mesmorized.
It's a warm smile,
a kind smile,
worn by someone who cares.
Maybe.
That beautiful smile,
hides pain.
Maybe.

Your eyes,
dark, mysterious.
Full of passion and rage,
full of hopes and dreams,
that can show lust and desire,
that can make me melt.
Such welcoming eyes,
with a hint of innocence,
that's never lost its gleam.
A place where tears are no strangers.
Let me help you.

A childish giggle,
music to my ears,
a soothing voice,
caressing and calming me,
through out the day.

I hear your words,
they mean something,
I hear your feelings,
you give me meaning.

I wonder a lot,
I think and dream.
When you're not with me,
you're never with me,
But you're always near.

What is right?
What is wrong?
I ask myself,
nobody knows the answer.

Rumors aren't always true.
I don't know.

I hope not.
I don't know.

Do I love you?
I don't know.

What's stopping me?
I don't know.

You can't tell me.
You aren't here.

I need someone to,
because,
I don't know.
...........

You know I'd love to hear what you think!

and if you're interested... I also drew this:

My Poem...

So a couple of night back I decided to right a poem....
and so here it is....

I'd love to hear what you think....

He Smiled

written by Briggitte Suastegui
February 19th, 2012


The little boy looked out of the window,
across the street to a park.
A playground,
a set of swings,
a basketball court,
he smiled.

There was a little girl with her school friends,
across the street in the park.
On the playground,
on the set of swings,
on the basketball court,
he smiled.

He watched them play,
he looked up at the sun.
What a day to be outside,
to feel the sweat rolling down your face from running too much.
But what did he know of that?
He smiled.

He touched his finger to the glass,
as the kids ran around playing tag.
He watched the basketball bounce up and down, 
he tapped the glass each time it touched the ground.
He smiled. 

Someone tapped his shoulder.
Startled, he jumped.
He wouldn't admit it,
but he jumped.
He turned around, 
he smiled.

'C'mon, you have to go back to work now',
he shook his head.
'Oh come now, I don't want to get you into trouble',
his feet were firmly planted on the ground.
'Your father will get angry...',
he felt a coldness flood throught his body,
he dropped his eyes and followed her back into the studio, but,
he smiled.

He knew it was coming,
the hardest part of the song. 
He looked at his father,
the belt menacingly resting in his hands,
the cold eyes looking straight at him.
He sang,
he hit the note,
he had escaped this time,
he was safe for now,
he smiled.

He got in the car,
and looked out of the window.
The little girl caught his eye and waved,
he waved back shyly,
unsure of what to do.
She looked at him curiously and smiled,
the car began to drive away,
he felt the tears pool in his eyes,
and to himself,
he smiled.

The bump the car went over woke him up. 
He ran his fingers through his hair and pushed it back,
he looked out of the window.

There was a park,
a playground,
a set of swings,
a basketball court.

There was a group of school kids playing,
on the playground,
on the set of swings,
on the basketball court.

He subconsciously tapped his finger,
as the basketball bounced up and down.
The ball rolled away,
the little girl ran to get it,
she caught his eye and recognized him.

She smiled and waved,
he waved back. 
She ran back excitedly to tell her friends,
he smiled.

The car pulled up to a studio,
he had work to do.
There were millions of fans outside,
he had work to do.
He took a breath and stepped outside.
He smiled.

A smile can mean a great many things.
It can express joy,
it can hide sorrow.

For one person,
one with a lost childhood,
one who had to grow up too fast,
one who worked instead of played,
one who was in constant fear,
a smile meant many things.

When he wanted to cry,
to hide the tears,
he smiled.

When he longed to play,
but had to work instead,
he smiled.

When he seemed to have pleased his father,
and escaped the belt,
he smiled.

When he didn't know what to do,
feeling confusion, hurt, or anguish,
he smiled.

He smiled. 
It was the one thing,
the only thing,
he was sure he could do.

May you rest in peace,
my angel.
Michael Joseph Jackson.
August 29th, 1958 - June 25th, 2009. 


For me, Michael is like the Marilyn to a lot of people... I've seen people say this about Marilyn, and I feel like it fits my feelings so well for Michael...
I just wish I could go back in time and just hug him. Hug him and tell him that everything will be fine. Show him that people do love him, and that no matter what else happens, I will always love him. 

Luckiest Women In The World

So I was actually thinking of this as I was walking my dog today.
I haven't blogged in a while... so I'm back!

A lot of things have been happening in my life recently so I don't want to bore you will all of that...

So anyways back to what I was saying...while I was walking I was thinking about some of the luckiest women that I know of, or at least, that I think have been lucky in their life time.

I decided to share this list with you....but not the reasons why... I've decided to save that for my next post... I'd like to see what you think about why I put each woman on here...

So if you think you know why I put one on this list...comment away!

note: These women may have had hard lives, but when I add them on this list I mean that at one point in their life they've been the luckiest women in the world.

Luckiest Women In The World

Lucille Ball

Linda Gray

Barbara Eden

Vanessa Paradis

Tatiana Thumbtzen

Lauren Bacall

Jacqueline Bouvier 

Jeanne Martin

Ethel Skakel

Okay that's it for now...those are all of the ones I can think up off of the top of my head... 

Tell me watcha think!

Stars That Will Never Fade

Why I Chose This Picture: I love it when people, singers especially,
are concentrated in what they are doing...

Name: Frank Sinatra

Real Name: Francis Albert Sinatra

Occupation: Singer, Actor, Producer, Director, Conductor

DOB/DOD: December 12th, 1915- May 14th, 1998

Fun Fact: When Bela Lugosi died virtually penniless, 

Frank quietly payed for his funeral

Quote: (On Ava Gardner) I love her and God damn me for it.

Academy Awards: Was nominated for four awards by the Academy, 

Won for Best Supporting Actor in From Here To Eternity (1954), Won 

the Honorary Award for The House I Live In (1946), and won The

Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award (1970), and was nominated for Best Actor

his role in The Man With The Golden Arm (1955)