Two Poems...

So i feel like i think i like writing poetry now. Not as much as i like writing stories, but poetry provides that instant satisfaction, whereas a story takes much longer, but feels so good when im done with one.

Anyways, i had CAHSEE testing two days last week. The CAHSEE is the CAlifornia High School Exit Exam... it was SUPER EASY and i had a lot of time on my hands.... so i decided to write.... so here were two poems i came up with.

I Want You to Know
writte by Briggitte on 3.14.12


Your smile,
brightens up my day,
when I see you.
Everyday.

Your eyes,
Not brown nor blue,
their own special color.
Beautiful,
stunning,
dreamy color.
One's I'd love to get lost in,
if you'd let me.
When they flick across the room,
and meet mine,
I get butterflies,
I can't help but smile,
until you or I look away.

I like watching you,
when you talk,
when you walk.
Your cute little mannerisms.

Your sweet voice,
when you talk,
when you read,
when you laugh.

I think about you.
You will never know.

I care about you.
You will never know.

I want you to know.
...........

I Don't Know
written by Briggitte on 3.14.12


When you smile,
I can't help but smile with you.
I'm mesmorized.
It's a warm smile,
a kind smile,
worn by someone who cares.
Maybe.
That beautiful smile,
hides pain.
Maybe.

Your eyes,
dark, mysterious.
Full of passion and rage,
full of hopes and dreams,
that can show lust and desire,
that can make me melt.
Such welcoming eyes,
with a hint of innocence,
that's never lost its gleam.
A place where tears are no strangers.
Let me help you.

A childish giggle,
music to my ears,
a soothing voice,
caressing and calming me,
through out the day.

I hear your words,
they mean something,
I hear your feelings,
you give me meaning.

I wonder a lot,
I think and dream.
When you're not with me,
you're never with me,
But you're always near.

What is right?
What is wrong?
I ask myself,
nobody knows the answer.

Rumors aren't always true.
I don't know.

I hope not.
I don't know.

Do I love you?
I don't know.

What's stopping me?
I don't know.

You can't tell me.
You aren't here.

I need someone to,
because,
I don't know.
...........

You know I'd love to hear what you think!

and if you're interested... I also drew this:

My Poem...

So a couple of night back I decided to right a poem....
and so here it is....

I'd love to hear what you think....

He Smiled

written by Briggitte Suastegui
February 19th, 2012


The little boy looked out of the window,
across the street to a park.
A playground,
a set of swings,
a basketball court,
he smiled.

There was a little girl with her school friends,
across the street in the park.
On the playground,
on the set of swings,
on the basketball court,
he smiled.

He watched them play,
he looked up at the sun.
What a day to be outside,
to feel the sweat rolling down your face from running too much.
But what did he know of that?
He smiled.

He touched his finger to the glass,
as the kids ran around playing tag.
He watched the basketball bounce up and down, 
he tapped the glass each time it touched the ground.
He smiled. 

Someone tapped his shoulder.
Startled, he jumped.
He wouldn't admit it,
but he jumped.
He turned around, 
he smiled.

'C'mon, you have to go back to work now',
he shook his head.
'Oh come now, I don't want to get you into trouble',
his feet were firmly planted on the ground.
'Your father will get angry...',
he felt a coldness flood throught his body,
he dropped his eyes and followed her back into the studio, but,
he smiled.

He knew it was coming,
the hardest part of the song. 
He looked at his father,
the belt menacingly resting in his hands,
the cold eyes looking straight at him.
He sang,
he hit the note,
he had escaped this time,
he was safe for now,
he smiled.

He got in the car,
and looked out of the window.
The little girl caught his eye and waved,
he waved back shyly,
unsure of what to do.
She looked at him curiously and smiled,
the car began to drive away,
he felt the tears pool in his eyes,
and to himself,
he smiled.

The bump the car went over woke him up. 
He ran his fingers through his hair and pushed it back,
he looked out of the window.

There was a park,
a playground,
a set of swings,
a basketball court.

There was a group of school kids playing,
on the playground,
on the set of swings,
on the basketball court.

He subconsciously tapped his finger,
as the basketball bounced up and down.
The ball rolled away,
the little girl ran to get it,
she caught his eye and recognized him.

She smiled and waved,
he waved back. 
She ran back excitedly to tell her friends,
he smiled.

The car pulled up to a studio,
he had work to do.
There were millions of fans outside,
he had work to do.
He took a breath and stepped outside.
He smiled.

A smile can mean a great many things.
It can express joy,
it can hide sorrow.

For one person,
one with a lost childhood,
one who had to grow up too fast,
one who worked instead of played,
one who was in constant fear,
a smile meant many things.

When he wanted to cry,
to hide the tears,
he smiled.

When he longed to play,
but had to work instead,
he smiled.

When he seemed to have pleased his father,
and escaped the belt,
he smiled.

When he didn't know what to do,
feeling confusion, hurt, or anguish,
he smiled.

He smiled. 
It was the one thing,
the only thing,
he was sure he could do.

May you rest in peace,
my angel.
Michael Joseph Jackson.
August 29th, 1958 - June 25th, 2009. 


For me, Michael is like the Marilyn to a lot of people... I've seen people say this about Marilyn, and I feel like it fits my feelings so well for Michael...
I just wish I could go back in time and just hug him. Hug him and tell him that everything will be fine. Show him that people do love him, and that no matter what else happens, I will always love him. 

Luckiest Women In The World

So I was actually thinking of this as I was walking my dog today.
I haven't blogged in a while... so I'm back!

A lot of things have been happening in my life recently so I don't want to bore you will all of that...

So anyways back to what I was saying...while I was walking I was thinking about some of the luckiest women that I know of, or at least, that I think have been lucky in their life time.

I decided to share this list with you....but not the reasons why... I've decided to save that for my next post... I'd like to see what you think about why I put each woman on here...

So if you think you know why I put one on this list...comment away!

note: These women may have had hard lives, but when I add them on this list I mean that at one point in their life they've been the luckiest women in the world.

Luckiest Women In The World

Lucille Ball

Linda Gray

Barbara Eden

Vanessa Paradis

Tatiana Thumbtzen

Lauren Bacall

Jacqueline Bouvier 

Jeanne Martin

Ethel Skakel

Okay that's it for now...those are all of the ones I can think up off of the top of my head... 

Tell me watcha think!

Stars That Will Never Fade

Why I Chose This Picture: I love it when people, singers especially,
are concentrated in what they are doing...

Name: Frank Sinatra

Real Name: Francis Albert Sinatra

Occupation: Singer, Actor, Producer, Director, Conductor

DOB/DOD: December 12th, 1915- May 14th, 1998

Fun Fact: When Bela Lugosi died virtually penniless, 

Frank quietly payed for his funeral

Quote: (On Ava Gardner) I love her and God damn me for it.

Academy Awards: Was nominated for four awards by the Academy, 

Won for Best Supporting Actor in From Here To Eternity (1954), Won 

the Honorary Award for The House I Live In (1946), and won The

Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award (1970), and was nominated for Best Actor

his role in The Man With The Golden Arm (1955)

Finals Are Over, Elementary School, and Landa...

Hello! Hello!
I hope you are doing well...I know I haven't been on in a while, but I have been busy...

FINALS ARE OVER!!!!! *whoot whoot* 
GUESS WHO'S HAPPY?  hahaha I am!
and i think i did pretty darn well with them!
so far I know my grades are 2 A's, 1 A-'s, and one B+... two more classes to see the grades of...
im happy right now...and so relieved...really so very relieved....

so after finals on Friday, we got out at 12:35 so my friend and I walked over to her house, walked over to get frozen yogurt, and then walked over to our elementary school.... i has been 5 years since we graduated and everything really looked the same, just smaller... it was such an experience going back and seeing some of my old teachers and the school and realizing how much time had actually passed...it was kinda frightening... ahaha
anyways, afterwards we walked to this Italian...or rather as Jerry Lewis would say, Itrralian... market where i had this really delicious chocolate canoli... :D and then we walked back to her house...
oh yeah, with all that walking, my feet were DEAD....

Okay and as for the title of this post.... Landa...
some of you....a lot of you.... probably dont know what that means... .
well.....
it all started this past summer....

It started with the show Dallas...no! actually it didnt.. it originally started with I Dream of Jeannie... because I think Barbara Eden and Larry Hagman make one of the cutest couples ever... i think they are perfect for each other... so my friend, Courtney, and I came up with this whole secret life thing...but it never really materialized...until i started watching Dallas and read Larry's book and realized that Larry and Linda Gray are meant for each other... as in... MEANT FOR EACH OTHER ... 
well to me it felt like there was so much evidence that they really did love each other... but i mean of course they were both married to different people at the time of the show and Larry is still married to his wife, Maj, and Linda's divorced but anyways, they have the most beautiful friendship.. and love...
but now im just going on and on about that.. lemme explain Landa...
Courtney, the genius she is, came up with one of those couple names... you know like Desilu, and said that Larry and Linda would be Landa... and it just stuck...
so every time we find something that has them being all cute and couple-y, we call it like Landa...or Landa moments or things like that...

for example:

the besties...

best friends for over how many years?
er.. lets see Dallas was in 1978...its
2012...that's 34 years!

and for the next couple... well notice how they're always holding hands.........
its great! i love them so much, and so last night at the SAG Awards they presented with their other co-star Patrick Duffy, and lo and behold.... at one point Larry and Linda are holding hands on stage after presenting the award... :D

hmmm??? im just saying
that that does not look like its for a
scene on camera.... XD 

point is... i love them...<3

Stars That Will Never Fade

Why I Chose This Picture: Well I don't know, he looks
so concentrated on what he's doing, and he loved
being behind the camera...

Name: Larry Hagman

Real Name: Larry Martin Hagman

Occupation: Actor, Director, Producer, Singer (sorta)

DOB/DOD: September 21st, 1931 

Fun Fact: He is the son of Broadway legend, Mary Martin,

who played Peter Pan and Nellie from South Pacific onstage

Quote: its a tie between: Barbara Eden is the most beautiful girl in the world

and [about co-star Linda Gray after her divorce] Maj and I kind of adopter her. She was here

at the house nearly every day. We'd call her first thing in the morning to make

sure she was alright, we'd make sure she had dinner every night.

Academy Awards: No Academy Awards, but was nominated numerous

times for other awards, and won for the portrayal of JR Ewing

from Dallas

CETA, finals, and stress....

Hello Hello!
So I'm in a good mood right now! :D

Anyways this week has just been soooo long and sooo slow and sooo tiring!
So on Friday of last week we left school early (at lunch) from school to drive up to Anaheim where we were staying in a hotel for the weekend. To me the ride seemed incredibly short...it was weird because LA traffic usually doesnt feel that way... I think it was just the excitement of the trip. My friend brought her ukelele so she was playing and we tried to sing Drops of Jupiter...but we kinda failed... XD and then my other friend brought his guitar so we were all singing to that... it was great.
We got to the hotel and unpacked...i shared a room with my close friend and this other girl, so there was only 3 to a room which was nice.
There was a pool, but no one thought of packing their swimsuits...but our boys will be boys and they went in anyways... in their underpants.... way more than i ever wanted to see of any of them.... O.O i'm like scarred...
so out hotel was convinced right next to a strip club... oh boy was that interesting...teenage boys + strip club = trouble.... but OTHER THAN THAT...
we had dinner at a restaurant nearby and headed over to the school to register and see the first show...

it was called Leading Ladies. It was soo great! sooo sooo great. A comedy. Hilarious. pretty much two out of work men dressed up as women to try to get inheritance from this one lady...anyways it was hilarious and i loved it...
Then we went home and to bed... well not to bed...we stayed up talking till like 2am, but thats okay...
The next show was To Kill a Mockingbird which was my favorite... XD of course...it was a little on the long side...but i think they did justice to the book, so i was happy... The one thing that did really bother me, was that the actor who played Atticus, i guess chose to portray Atticus with a limp...and that kinda distracted me...but other than that...good good good show. Then we did workshops, so like i tool Beginning Directing, Costuming 101, and Stage Management 101...they were interesting, but just a little boring... and then we watched The Crucible...oh boy was that hard to sit through... I couldnt take it... i just.... i was falling asleep, it was boring....i was cold... i just DIDNT LIKE IT... like dont get me wrong, Arthur Miller... i respect him and i think he was very talented...and i like Death of a Salesman but i just couldnt take this....
and then that night....the last night....so many things happened....

here we are by the hotel pool...
im on the far left in the sunglasses.. :)

So our like bedtime/lights out time was 12/ midnight....thats when everyone had to go back to their own rooms...but like it was the last night, we werent sleeping so at about 1:40-1:50 ish some of us snuck into our friends room to like hang out... well what we didnt know was that two of our friends went out to buy drinks.... so my friend and I went over and were sitting there and okay let me get one thing straight before i continue with the story. I. Dont. Drink. i dont drink, i dont smoke, i dont do drugs... thats just not my thing.... thats the way i was raised and personally, i want to live a long, and healthy life...and well drinking and smoking and drugs dont help with that. anyways... i wont judge you if you do those things... like some of my closest friends in theater, they do a lot of that, and i still love them because theyre great people... so i really could care less that they were doing that... i was just worried that we'd be caught.
so the two friends who went out came back with five drinks of Four Lokos which scare the be-jesus out of me because those things have like killed people, but anyways, they offered me and my friend if we wanted some and we both said no because, well i just didnt want any....and you know what? i didnt feel pressured at all... like growing up i felt like i was always told that people are gonna offer you drugs and things and theyre gonna gang up on you and make you feel bad until you said yes.... and it was nothing like that... even in the morning, the girls that do drink and stuff that i am the closest too, they were like "we didnt make you feel bad or pressure you or anything right? because that's totally not what we wanted to do" and they didnt and i guess maybe because i havent been in that situation before, but i felt like they genuinly actually cared about how we felt and that kinda meant a lot to me.. but anyways...we were really sleep deprived the next day because we went to bed at around 4am... and then we watched the last show called Once in a Lifetime amazing set! they had an amazing set....and thats about all i can about it because it was just a terrible show... they didnt have energy...it was WAYY too long... like 2 intermissions, you couldnt follow the plot...i couldnt take it...i was actually suffering....

AVPA Blurred Vision Theater Company
thasss uss!!!
lets see...i'm like in the third row from the bottom, and the
3rd person from the left... 

anyways we got back home at about 6pm and i went home, showered and slept... ahhah i was pooped out!
and so this week of school began which has not been fun because finals are next week and all my teachers are stressing me out about it..... i have a final for every single class....EVERY CLASS! including PE!!! THATS 6 FINALS!!! IM GONNA DIE!!!
*hyperventalates*
okay.. i think i should probably go to bed now.... ive got to get up early for the hospital tomorrow....
thanks for sitting through and listening to me talk and talk and talk and talk.... ahhaha

oh i almost forgot! i need to do a Star!!! ahh okay who should i pick.... well i looked to my left and the first picture i see on my wall is the artist im going to do...
ENJOY!

Stars That Will Never Fade

Why I Chose This Picture: I don't really know, but i really like
it for some reason...because its not one of the overused ones i guess...

Name: Marilyn Monroe

Real Name: Norma Jeane Mortenson

Occupation: Actress, Singer, Model, Sex Symbol

DOB/DOD: June 1st, 1926-August 5th, 1962

Fun Fact: One of the first Los Angeles natives to become a major movie 

star

Quote: To put it bluntly, I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation.

But I'm working on the foundation

Academy Awards: No Academy Awards, but was, however, nominated for the Golden Globe

for Best Motion Picture Actress-Comedy or Musical in 1960 for the film Some Like It Hot 

and won