I don't know if you're glad, but I know I sure am.
No school, no waking up and going to sleep at designated times, and endless fun.
I want this summer to be great and I think it will.
That's not what I wanted to talk about though. I've had something on my mind lately, something I have noticed about myself, and I just feel the need to write about it.
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of someone else." -Judy Garland
I find this quote very interesting. Very, true. For most people. Nobody wants to be a copy, we've been raised in a society where we are preached to be unique since as long as we can be remember. The irony is, when you're too unique for someone's taste, you are looked down upon. How does that work? I agree with this quote. I think a person should be their own individual, but to find themselves, I don't think it's always an epiphany. Hey! I've figured it out! This is what I want to look like. This is who I want to be. I mean, I'm not saying that a situation like that can't happen, but using me as an example, it doesn't happen that way.
Let me tell you, I'm the first to praise individuality. I love just walking around and looking at the differences I see between the people in the street. I find it wonderful. Yes, some of those differences I might not like, they may scare me (lots of tattoos and lots of piercings), or I just dislike them (girl covered in head to toe Justin Bieber or One Direction fan equipment), but hey, if that's their thing, so be it. I'm not gonna tell them to change. Who would I be if I did that? No, I let them go and just keep observing other things.
For me I think it's taken a while to find myself. Of course I can't say I've completely found myself already, at this young age of 15, but I can tell you for the time being, I sure as heck know who I am. I'm comfortable with my group of friends at school, with my best friend in another state, with my family, with my grades, with my activities, and with the things I like. My style and personality is something that changes day to day, but I find it's reached a point where it's pretty constant. How?
Well, going back to the quote. I want to be myself. Of course I do. But for me, being myself means taking little things from different people I observe and putting them together to form my own thing. What does that even mean? I'll just give some examples and explain. Enjoy! Tell me what you think.
Okay I'm going to talk about him as an inspiration to my personality, but I do have to admit, style-wise, I do want sparkly white socks, a Thriller Letterman's jacket, and I did recently buy reflective Aviators because I really liked them when I saw them on him, but that's not the point. Here's the point. I started liking Michael years ago. One of my closest friends had a huge crush on him and like almost anyone, I was a fan of the music. Recently, I started looking into him, reading about him, watching things about him, and of course watching his performances. Let me tell you this, and I know so many people could argue with me, but I'm not writing this to argue with anybody. He was an amazing person. A truly amazing and good person. Point is, I think about him every day. I think about how he tried to change the world and help everybody he could. I want to do that, maybe not to his extent, but if it means picking up the mail that fell from the hands of an elderly woman while I'm walking my dog. Or if it just means smiling at the person I pass on the street. I want to be that person that everyone just remembers as the friendly, smiling, warm girl they knew at school. And I've succeeded at that this year. One of the seniors that graduated this past June, she told me, made me cry, about how she's really going to miss me when she goes to college because every morning I'd see her in the halls. And every morning I would smile at her. Now I can't say we are close friends, but I like her and she likes me. And she told this to me, as we were saying goodbye telling me to not change for anything in the world because my smile would cheer her up on days she just wanted to cry in the morning. I never thought about it like that. I never thought that someone could be having a dreadful morning and just by seeing someones smile, they could feel a tiny bit better. And I thank Michael because of that, because I know, he would have done the same thing.
Another person I admire and am inspired by more for her personality than her style. Again, I will admit, when I get all dressed up, yes I think of how amazing and beautiful she looked every day of her life and I have two colleges of her pictures by the mirror I look at when I get ready everyday to remind me to look nice, but again, that's not the point. She's another one who has affected my personality greatly. When I'm having a bad day, or when someone is saying something to me I don't like I've learned to ignore it. I've learned that from someone I've never met, but spent an immense amount of time observing. While an entire nation wept and mourned, she held together for everyone, even though she probably felt the most pain. Losing a loved one can never be easy. Losing the love of your life and having to go on with your life is some degree of pain I could never begin to imagine. Then, losing the person who gave you strength so soon after. She is the most admirable woman I can think of.
There may be little things I say and do that I've taken on from a movie I'v seen or a book I've read, or most likely a television show I've watched, but like I said, those things keep changing. But when I need a reassurance about who I am or what I'm doing, I think of him.
He is just somebody I turn to when I need that little nudge of you are yourself and nobody can change that. One of his biggest fears is to be labeled as something. He's truly and individual. And I hate that a lot of people dislike him because of it.
He's got his sense of style, his way of being, and it works for him, so people should leave it at that.
Now moving onto style. I feel like I've started to realize what my style is and just build it. I can't say I'm completely a t-shirt and jeans type of girl, but I can be. I can also be a sundress type of girl. Or a pair of jean shirts and a blouse. Or leggings, shorts, a v-neck, and my much beloved combat boots that have a zipper keeps opening. My style changes, a lot, but I've found people I like to take ideas from.
Style wise, I admire her style. I really like it. I can't pull it off because my interests don't lie in punk rock bands, eyeliner, and black nail polish. I take little things from her, though. First of all, I think she's really pretty. I really do. Well let's start with this picture, I just bought a hat/cap thing yesterday just like the one she's wearing. Well not that one, it's a Vans cap, but its that style. The "cool kid caps" as they seem to be at my school. Frankly, I just like how they look when girls wear them, and so I got one. I like the band tees she wears, and I want some. When I go shopping, I look for the ones I like.
Oh, the so called hipsters. How I love my hipster boys. They are delicious to look at. As for the girls, the outfit in this picture is something I'd love to wear. I've got the jeans, I don't own any pairs of jeans that aren't skinny, and I love the rest of the outfit. And the hair. How I love the hair. How I love everybody else's hair, but my own. Point being, from this outfit I own the jeans and the glasses. I'd probably wear a different top and converse and no hat, but I've taken something from it.
I had to write Fiona because saying Gabrielle Anwar, the actress who plays the character, would not be accurate. Mainly because, the outfits I see and like come from what I see and like on the show Burn Notice rather than what Gabrielle wears in her day to day life. I picked the two pictures because as for the top one, I would love love love to have that outfit. I own a pair of black shorts with suspenders, but the denim looks really nice. And the bottom picture, for my personal preference, I would like the exact same outfit, but in darker colors, minus the I-don't-even-wanna-know-how-many-inch heels. If only California really was sunny and warm all year round. Another thing I've taken from the show is wearing sundresses. For example, I'm wearing one now, and I really like it. It's comfortable and fresh and pretty. I'm into a nice summer dress with sandals.
The bracelets, I will give credit, well half-credit to Gabrielle for. I love wearing a lot of bracelets. I love the earthy toned ones, a lot like the ones I'd imagine her wearing.Someone told her in an interview she was like a hippie in her lifestyle. I've always loved the hippie look, the band around the forehead with the wavy long hair, the flowy tops, the nature-y aspect of it. I think it looks nice and I think that's why I go for the brown and leather's for bracelets.
We don't know her real name on the show Leverage, but she's played by the actress Beth Riesgraf . In this picture she's wearing the red dress and white blazer thing. I liked this picture mainly because that would be a dress I would definitely wear to a party/special occasions. I own a lot of tight dresses like it, I just wouldn't wear the sweater on top. Her style on the show consists of a lot of pants and blouses, or jeans and hoodies, something real casual. That's what I wear a lot of the time to school, a hoodie and some leggings. Or just jeans and a long sleeved shirt.